Trophies vs. Trajectory: why Your Child’s Loss Might Be the Most Important Step Forward
Yesterday, I watched our 2018 group play futsal. We lost 10–3. That might sound like a problem to some parents, but it wasn’t, not even close.
We conceded goals on transitions, missed back-post runs, and had breakdowns that five- and six-year-olds simply aren’t cognitively wired to manage yet. And they shouldn’t be. At that age, those kinds of mistakes are entirely normal. What’s not normal, what’s actually rare, is what I saw from our players in between the goals: individual skill, decision-making, balance under pressure, and the kind of ball mastery that takes years to build. They dribbled through pressure. They defended one-on-one. They didn’t panic. They played small-sided football on a Futsal court.
Now, here’s what matters more than the score: our kids had more meaningful touches on the ball than their opponents by a wiiiide margin. They were involved, they were solving problems, and they were learning. The long-term impact is massive when you multiply that kind of game experience over weeks, months, and years. The compound development can’t be bought, faked, or caught up to later. The difference it creates becomes permanent.
But here’s the honest part. If we’re doing our job right, your child will probably lose some games at this age. Not because we’re failing, but because we’re focusing on the right things at the right time. Early winning often comes from size, speed, and predictability. These things don’t last and don’t teach the technique and skill that the highest levels of real football require. We are not building teams that peak at age 9. We are building players who are still growing at 19.
And that takes time.
We start with the individual. First, a player must master the ball, balance, and their decisions. Then we layer in small combinations. Then, the larger, associative concepts. Only later do we focus on full team coordination and rehearsed tactics. You can’t skip these steps. If you rush, you end up with players who look strong early and stall later. We’ve all seen it. Advanced tactics require advanced technique.
Now more than ever, this matters. Youth football has become obsessed with winning trophies and chasing early success. Clubs post every medal online like it’s proof of development. But the truth is, most of those wins reflect who matured early or which coach simplified things enough to squeeze out a result. Rarely do they show who’s actually learning. And when we reward that model, we’re not helping the kids. We’re helping adults feel successful.
At Forms Academy and Alpha Superior Madrid, we don’t ignore winning. We just refuse to measure success by it. We track how well a player makes decisions under fatigue, how composed they are in chaos, and how often they engage meaningfully with the game. We measure how many touches they take, how frequently they problem-solve, and whether they take risks. These are the things that lead to actual growth. When those things are built properly, winning comes. And when it comes, it sticks.
If you’re a parent reading this, I’ll ask you one thing: pay attention to what questions you ask your child after the game. If the first question is “Did you win?”, you reinforce a message we’re trying to undo. Instead, ask them what they tried. Ask what challenged them. Ask if they felt more confident in the ball than last week. Those questions shape your child’s identity. They help them see football not as a pass-fail test, but as a space to grow.
The players who go furthest aren’t the ones who won the most U9 tournaments. They’re the ones who touched the ball more often, who learned to fail and recover, who learned to see the game, not just survive it.
If we stay committed to that process, the trajectory becomes inevitable.
Ron Hogsett
Founder, Forms Academy & Alpha Superior Madrid
✉️ If this resonates with you, share it with someone who needs to hear it. We’re not chasing trophies. We’re building footballers.